You are reading the ongoing writing process for a new book of daily reflections/meditations. Already published by this author is “Cast A Long Shadow”, 90 daily reading for our journey through life. This book is now available as a Kindle e-book, (you don’t need to have a Kindle to download and read it on your computer) as well as still being available direct from the publisher, on Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk and other Amazon European sites
I had a realization recently – it was that I always have to have an answer to every question I am asked.
I think this is a common trait – I may be unique, but I’m not the only one.
The interesting thing is to try to work out why we have this tendency – why do we feel that we have to answer every question?
There may be an element of control here – by providing an answer we are showing that we are somehow in control of our destinies, that we know what the future will bring.
It may also be that we are programmed to answer by the society that we live in.
From our earliest school days we are taught that we have to have answers to everything that the teacher asks us – it is the kids that answer that are well-regarded by the teachers, so long as the answers are right.
All through our formative years, people in authority ask us questions that they insist we must answer – we are asked where we have been, or what time we came home, or any number of things about our lives – and we have to answer.
Some of us learn in early years to lie, or at least to be as economical with the truth as we can – but we still answer, even if that answer is less than the truth.
There is also some feeling of self-worth in how we answer – to say “I don’t know” is one of the hardest things for many of us – it can feel like an admission of failure to admit to not knowing.
And maybe we get here to the real motives behind my always needing to answer a question.
If I am in any way feeling less-than about myself, it may feel that I need to provide an answer, even where no answer is possible.
When I am unsure of my ground, it may feel safer to answer a question – even if it is meaningless – than to simple keep quiet.
It can take more strength to refrain from answering, than to provide an answer where none is really needed.
Sometimes, the best answer is silence.