Some mornings we can wake up feeling totally useless and pointless. We ask ourselves, what have I contributed to the sum of human happiness in the world? What have I contributed to the happiness of me? How do even justify my existence?
Often, there is nothing that anyone can say to us that will get this feeling off of our soul. There is nothing that we can eat, drink, smoke or inject that will make it go away. Although some of those will remove the pain for a moment, they won’t change the feeling. And when they wear off, the feeling of uselessness will be a whole lot worse.
On days like these there are a number of options of what to do.
We can decide that there is no point, and stay in bed all morning, then get up and mope and feel miserable.
We can tell everyone who will listen – and even those who don’t want to – how miserable we are.
I can look for validation in others telling me that I am worthwhile – but reject that validation when it comes, because I know, deep inside that I’m worthless – if they really knew me they’d agree that I was worthless too.
At the end of the day we can go back to bed totally exhausted, wake sometime early the next morning, and repeat the cycle.
Or, we can choose to do something different.
What we can choose to do – just for today is to “act as if”.
We can feel self-respect if we respect ourselves. We can feel self-worth if we do worthwhile things. There is an old saying that I can’t think my way out of negative actions, but I can act my way out of negative thinking.
So when we have this lack of self-worth, we can get up, shower and dress. We can do whatever is in front of us to do – work, clean the house and do the laundry. We can look for people to practice being cheerful with, even if it’s only the check out person at the store who we wish a great day.
Will anything have changed?
Not in the “real world”, no. But in or own universe – the world as experienced inside our heads – there will be a chink of light.
Maybe we’re not useless, if we can do all that when we don’t feel like doing anything; because the point of life is to live it, one day at a time.
I can have self-worth, because I am worthy to be me.