July 31 Daily Meditation Writing: Persuasion

Persuasion

Persuasion and force – are these opposite sides of the same coin, or are there fundamental differences between the two?

There seems to me to be a lot of similarities, and a lot of differences between the two.

When we are forced to do something, our own feelings are irrelevant, it doesn’t matter if we agree with the action or not, we just have to do it.

Similarly, when we force others to comply with our wishes, their own thoughts mean little to us at the time – no matter how “good” or “bad” our intentions, the fact is that we are imposing our will.

There is some of that in persuasion too – there is something about making someone want to do an action when they are reluctant.

But in persuasion, there is more of the element of being involved in the decision-making process; more of changing one’s mine and doing something that we now want to do, or at least are compliant in.

And here is where we can see that this applies to our inner life, as much as it does to relationships between people.

For example, we may want to do have achieved something, but if we try to force ourselves into it, we are often unwilling to go through with the action involved in completing it.

However, when we to persuade ourselves that the outcome is worth the action involved, we can accomplish whatever we desire.

A good example in my life is that I always wanted to have written a book – but that was not enough to force me into the action of sitting at a computer and producing it.

Only when I could persuade myself that I could really do this, and then take the actions required, that I got the job done – I was persuaded by action.

Sometimes, no matter how badly we want something, it is impossible for us to change our actions to achieve it.

This may be an addiction, a bad habit we want to break – or a good thing we want to achieve, or an action that we want to undertake.

What we need to do is to stop trying to force ourselves into the action – our will is not sufficient to do so.

Instead we need to use all our powers of persuasion on ourselves, negotiate and use whatever tools we need to.

The great power of persuasion is that soon we will want to do what we used to just dream of having done.

July 30, 2012

July 30 Daily Meditation Writing: Country

Country

Love of one’s country is a wonderful thing; it can also be a curse.

It is right and proper, it seems to me, to honor the country that gave you birth; to celebrate its victories and mourn its losses.

Our country can be in this way an extension of our family – it gives us another tribe to relate to and belong to.

But therein can also lie also the problem, when love for one’s country turns into hatred for others.

It is a sad fact of the human condition that we can turn a positive such as love for our own country, into a negative when we turn that love into hate, and think that all other people are inferior to us.

In our modern world we see the two faces only too clearly – the pride with which we look upon our countries successes, and the acts of violence against others who are from a different culture.

And this human conflict on the world stage is mirrored in our own personal lives too.

It is wonderful to celebrate our successes, and to take pride in what we do well.

It is great to look after our physical and mental well-being, to be the best us there is to be, and to use our potential to the fullest extent that we can.

That self-respect and self understanding is what we should be looking to improve each day on our journey through life, but sometimes we can take that positive and turn it around in a negative way.

We can begin to think that our own success is all that matters, and that it is right to trample over others to get it.

Sometimes our self-respect can turn into a lack of respect for others, when we think our unique talents are not just different, but superior to others.

And, when we turn that self-love into hatred for other people, we really begin to turn our best instincts to bad effect.

Our love of ourselves does not grow just because we hate other people – indeed, it seems to only diminish our self-respect, meaning that we need to go on hating for its own sake.

We are like the countries in the world – we can learn to respect each other, and even celebrate the differences between us, or we can go to war to impose our views on other people.

For we are all different from everyone else – we are all individual countries in an ocean of individuals.

July 29, 2012July 28, 2012

July 29 Daily Meditation Writing: Spring

Spring

I have never really liked New Year resolutions – maybe because of my past experience of them and the reasons we make them.

For me, Spring is the time for resolution, when new life is coming to the land and the promise that this brings.

Spring is when all things seem possible, when suddenly there are bright flowers appearing where they was only barren soil.

Even the air is different – crisp and new, bright and clean, after the dark and dismal days of winter, and before the sultry and hot winds of summer roll in.

And the analogy with the rest of our lives is striking.

When there is spring in our hearts and souls it is as if nothing can stop us, and there are no limits to our growth.

We all know days when there is little light, and we only trudge along, trying to keep ourselves going one more day.

And there are days when the world is settled for a while – the summer of our days when there is warmth in knowing that we have achieved some goal or milestone.

But when it is spring in our souls we have only the promise of what may be ahead – and it is that promise that is the most exciting.

There are the endless possibilities that only the growth spurt of spring can give us – the possibilities seem to stretch out in front of us just for the picking.

As we grow older in years, we can become wary of the new, of the unfamiliar.

We can forget the excitement of spring because of the heat of summer, the contentment of fall, or the chill certainty that is winter.

But, unlike the seasons which come and go by the turning of the earth, in our heart and soul we can extend the season of opportunity, and start growing at any time.

When it is spring in our hearts anything is possible; when there is spring in our soul we can resolve to make the journey a memorable one.

July 28, 2012July 28, 2012

July 28 Daily Meditation Writing: Despair

Despair

If there is one place in the world that we don’t want to be, it’s in despair.

Once we are there it seems like there is no escape, no way out – that the walls of despair are closing in on us and there is nothing to be done.

Often, the cause of the despair is truly a bad situation – when we have tried and been defeated, and lost all hope that there could be any better solution.

At times like these if is almost comforting to give in to despair – that may sound strange if it has never happened to you, but it is the experience of many of us that we almost welcome the total surrender that despair gives us.

Despair can be worn around us like a thick, black cloak that hides our shape – and that is what can make it seem welcoming.

Because, when we have been battered and bruised by life, when all our plans have failed, and all our hopes are gone – what then is there to do, but despair?

And yet, it can be from that pit of despair that we can start to find our way into the light again.

Sometimes it seems to be necessary to go to the darkest places in our heart before we can turn again to the light.

We reach what is called rock bottom – we are defeated utterly and completely, and we cannot go on.

And yet we do go on.

We find somehow that even in that despair we can still put one foot in front of the other.

Even when we have to go on without hope, we still, somehow, manage to go on.

And slowly we come to see that rock bottom not as the end, but as another beginning.

Not the end of the story – just the conclusion of a chapter.

Despair is a place that none of us would want to go to.

But despair is sometimes were we need to have been, to get to where we are going.

July 27, 2012

July 27 Daily Meditation Writing: Moral

Moral

There are those who will tell you that there is one, very strict, set of moral codes.

Those that hold to this belief normally also know that they, and they along, know the truth about people’s motives and that we all fail to meet these standards.

At the other extreme, there are some people who hold that everything is relative, and that no one should worry about what is moral – the only thing to be concerned about is if we get caught or not.

Of course, most of us are somewhere in between the two poles here, but we often stand firm on a few moral areas that we see as unbreakable, and reject the idea that morals are just “not being caught out”.

I think the majority of us would accept that accept that not breaking the law is a moral thing to do, and yet how many of us have not occasionally (or often) broken the law by driving above the speed limit?

We think that telling the truth is the right and moral thing to do, and yet we find that a lie or a half-truth comes almost unbidden to our lips from time to time.

And those who are so sure of what the moral thing in every situation really scare me, as much as those who do not believe in any moral code frighten me.

I am not God.

I don’t get to decide if what others do is moral or not.

But nor do I have a get out of jail free card – I am responsible for my actions; I am responsible for following my moral sense.

All of us have an inner story that tells us what is right and wrong – it is part of the human makeup.

But we each have a slightly different sense, and to simply reject out of hand every other moral view is the height of arrogance.

There may be a set of moral guidance that cannot be changed, but it is not likely that any one of us will understand it all.

What we can do is to act in the most moral way we know how to, right here, right now.

And as we walk the road of life, we may pick up more morals – or find we have to lay some aside – as we find our way to our destination.

July 26, 2012

July 26 Daily Meditation Writing: Blessed

Blessed

We are all blessed with so much – although sometimes it is hard to believe it.

There have been times in my life where all I could see were my worries – there did not seem to be a spark of light anywhere that would help relieve the gloom.

I am sure most of us have had times in our lives like that – times when all seems hopeless and pointless; and what is worse, there does not seem to be any change possible.

At these times it is hard to remember that we are blessed, but even in the darkest of times, it is possible to find it.

Because we are blessed, maybe not always by the thing right in front of us, but everything we do, and every hurdle we overcome, is a part of our journey.

I have sometimes had to remind myself that I can be blessed just by the fact that “this too shall pass”.

It may be unfeeling and unhelpful to tell a person that is grieving a loss, or is ill or mentally exhausted that they are blessed.

Even if true, it can be a hard thing to hear at such times, and can make us even more depressed to think that others do not really see our pain.

It is more that we need to know this individually – know in our heart of hearts that we are blessed, even at this moment.

I know from my own experience and that of others who have confided in me that even the darkest moments when looked back on can be seen to provide a blessing.

We may have had a painful lesson – but as long as we learned from it, the lesson was itself a blessing.

Or we may have lost someone dear to us, and can see no blessing in it – but then it may be that the experience of knowing that person for the time that we did was the blessing, leaving us a lot further on our path than we were.

If we look at what we don;t have, or what we have lost, we will always feel discouraged by life.

But if we look for the blessing we will find it, and this will speed us on our way, if not happy, at least content that the world really is as it should be, right now.

July 25, 2012July 24, 2012

July 25 Daily Meditation Writing: Labor

Labor

The word “labor” for most people brings with it thoughts of toil and hard work – of manual labor, working with ones hands and using more muscle-power than brain-power.

And yet I also feel that labor is involved in less manual activity – even in what I am doing right now in writing here at my keyboard.

True there is only very little physical activity – my fingers press the keys, and my head moves slightly as I check the screen for what I have written.

Even when this is turned into a book, it will be edited in line and printed by automated machinery – there is little in the way of human physical activity involved.

And yet I still think of what I do as labor – why is that?

In essence I think that anything we do can be called labor – if we have to work for something in any way, there is labor involved.

It may be that the labor is mental or physical, or a combination of both.

But whatever the actual activity, to labor brings with it the feeling of effort – of things not just happening, but of effort being involved.

A road is not something that just happens – it takes a combination of labor from different sources.

There is the obvious labor of the people building the road – digging the foundations, laying the concrete, making good the surrounding area.

There is also the labor required in creating the materials needed, and in transporting them to the site.

But also, there is the labor of the road designers in working out the best place to put the road, and the materials to use.

There is even labor in the planners that decided that a road is needed in that place, at this time.

In just the same way, the words on this page do not come of their own volition.

It takes a combination of thought, experience and action – of various types of labor – to get them here.

So I think we all labor to make what we want come to life, be it a field of corn, a road, or another book.

July 24, 2012

July 24 Daily Meditation Writing: Delight

Delight

To delight in something or someone is one of the great treasures we can find in life.

It is more than just liking, more that just finding pleasure – it is a far more fundamental feeling, and one that can move us to our very soul.

Sometimes we do things out of a sense of duty, and that can bring us satisfaction in the knowledge that we have “done good”, even if we have not particularly enjoyed it.

Sometimes we can find a great deal of pleasure in something, and really enjoy what we are doing, but find that it is not substantial, it does not bring us long-lasting joy.

It is the same with people – we know lots of people we can have fun with, and those with whom we share a common interest, but then there are some who we just delight in being around, whatever is happening.

For when we delight in doing something, we find pleasure in the very activity itself – it is not done grudgingly or from a sense of duty.

Nor do we do something because we think we will get a reward for it, or in someway look good.

In particular, we often delight in doing things for those we truly love, simply because of the pleasure it will give them.

Because our delight in something is not necessarily related to the amount of effort exerted.

A single flower, collected for us a loved one, brings us more delight than the most expensive bouquet of flowers.

The simple act of listening to someone pour out their problems can bring us a feeling of delight that we are trusted.

And those of us lucky enough to have found a vocation that we can truly delight in know the deep sense of contentment that comes from following our hearts desire.

Pleasure is good; doing one’s duty is good; being kind to others is wonderful.

But finding delight in what we do and who we are – that is the most precious prize.

July 22, 2012July 20, 2012

July 22 Daily Meditation Writing: Thankful

Thankful

Sometimes things are going smoothly, we are physically well, have enough resources to do what we need to, and are happy with our role in life.

At these times it is easy to just accept it all, but most of us will also find it easy to be thankful.

We will enjoy the good times and be happy that we have so few worries.

However, these good times do not last forever: to some they never seem to occur.

We or those we are for are ill, or we have bills to pay but not enough money to do so. We may be unhappy with our work, or the people we work with, but be unable to see a way out to a better job.

We may think to ourselves that we have nothing to be thankful for, and so sink deeper into the mire of despondent thinking.

But even in these hard times there will be something to be thankful for, some ray of light in a dark world.

In our journey through life there will be good times and bad, and when we look for things to be thankful for we will find them.

And when we do find the things to be thankful for, we take one more step – small and faltering though it may be – along the path of growth.

It may be that all we can be thankful for is that “this too shall pass”.

It can be a comfort to know that even in the hard times there will be better times, although we may not know when.

And we need to be thankful, because the alternative is stagnation.

If we just accept where we are – good or bad – as being as far as we can go, we will never find growth.

If we accept the good things in life without being thankful for them, then the very things we should be thankful for will come to seem pointless.

If we do not look for things to be thankful for in the hard times, the times will go on being hard, because we do not see any release from our woes.

Being thankful means that we can look beyond the day-to-day worries, and move on with our lives in a positive way.

It is easy to be thankful when things go well; it is a sign of growth to be able to be thankful when things go badly.

July 21, 2012July 20, 2012

July 21 Daily Meditation Writing: Act

Act

We all put on an act to some degree.

For most of us, the acts we play are based on expedience or fear – and sometimes both at once.

When we are with strangers, or acting in a business capacity, we will tend to put on an act relevant to the situation.

We may work at a customer service desk, for example, and have to act interested in our clients activities, even when we are dealing with huge issues of our own.

This can sometimes be a blessing, because as we act in this helpful and pleasant way we are taken out of our own problems for a few moments.

In a business setting we will try to act in a calm and commanding way, even when seething with uncertainty inside – and this brings us to the second reason for acting – fear.

Because we often fear that we are not “good enough” – not smart enough or clever enough; that we don;t really know the answers, but will look stupid if we admit that fact.

This “not enough” feeling seems to be very prevalent in even the most outwardly confident people.

And these acts feed off of themselves – when I act confident in a meeting, people will also act in the same way, and we all fell better because we see the other also being confident.

This is the good and the bad – it can mean that action gets taken where it was needed, but it can also mean that we act out of a fear of failure – and fail anyway.

In a business setting this is bad enough, but too many of us also bring this into our personal relationships too.

We may act like we don’t care for someone out of fear that we will be rejected.

But by this act we set ourselves up for rejection, since the other person will be also be looking for reassurance that we care – and when they don’t get it, they will further retreat from us.

So we need to be careful what acts we take part in.

There is a time for acting a character, but there is also a time to drop the act, and be ourselves.