Joy

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It is a cold and frozen day, and on my walk this morning, slow and unsteady as I was on the ice, I realized something that I have been missing recently. I am missing joy.

Not that I am unhappy, but for the last few months I have been busy doing – working, doctors appointments, even fun things like celebrating Thanksgiving. But I am a Human Being, not a Human Doing, and I need more time to just be.

Because it is when I can just be me – imperfect though I am, I’m the only person in this whole world who is exactly me. And the best I can Do is to Be me.

I’m not always sure what that means. I sometimes, like just recently, get confused and think that what I am is the sum of what I do; what I do is important, my actions are mine and I need to be mindful of them, but that is not all that I am. My actions do not define me, because they come from inside me, but they can influence how I feel and how I work with the world; everything is connected.

If I just look down at my feet on the ice, I will avoid slipping, but the way the few crisp dry leaves that are left on the tree seem to sparkle against the perfect, achingly blue, sky. But if I spend all my time looking at the sky I will slip on a patch of ice. The trick is to find the right path – literally, to avoid slipping on the ice, and figuratively, to find my emotional balance and keep on the right spiritual path.